Dearest Plague Rats,

At this time last year, I thought I was going to lose my life to an autoimmune disease that had gone undiagnosed for over 15 years. It prevented me from singing. And eating. I was barely functional. And physically unrecognizable. My body was shutting down.

Today, I'm in my studio producing one of the most ecstatically anarchic songs I've ever written.

Audio waveform of Emilie's voice on a computer screen in a recording studio

So what changed? Well, along with finally finding a medical team that wouldn't give up on me after so many others had, I got comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I got comfortable with eating though it hurt and made me sick. I got comfortable with singing when I couldn't access my diaphragm and didn't feel as though I had any air in my lungs. I got comfortable with not knowing if I could be a performer anymore.

Emilie's hand playing a keyboard in a recording studio

And when I stopped waiting to get better to live, life poured itself into me.

In a literal flash, I saw that the system that I had developed over decades to guide me from surviving to thriving with bipolar disorder could be used to thrive with physical health challenges as well, and I published the Keys & Doors Method Workbook hoping that others could experience what happens when we work with what we can bring into each day rather than waiting for it to look or feel different.

Violin strings and headphones resting on a keyboard in a recording studio

When I started to show up to life again, exactly as I was, everything I had put on hold suddenly had a green light, and I couldn’t stop the momentum if I wanted to.

And so my mantra became "do it anyway."

Scared to eat? Do it anyway.
Scared to perform? Book it anyway.
Can't take a full breath? Sing it anyway.